


The Kitten Interview

by drarryandharry



Series: Drarryandharry Tumblr One Shots [3]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Birthday, Buzzfeed, Fluff, Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE, Kittens, M/M, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-05
Updated: 2019-06-05
Packaged: 2020-04-08 07:31:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,843
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19102537
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/drarryandharry/pseuds/drarryandharry
Summary: You know those Buzzfeed interviews. What if, Draco Malfoy did one. Interesting question, if only somebody had an answer.Written for Draco’s birthday 2019





	The Kitten Interview

Draco had heard of Buzzfeed before, so when Pansy told him  that she was creating a spin off company for wizards, of course he was interested. Harry was constantly going on about how some guy Eugene was his first true love. Come to think of it, that’s probably the only reason he didn’t watch any Buzzfeed content. His power for jealousy was unrivalled. Still, Draco was excited when he received Pansy’s owl on Friday evening. It read:

 

_ Draco, _

_ Buzzfeed Magic would like to film some interviews in advance of the official launch, so we have enough material prepared in advance. You’ve become quite popular online as one of the only magical queer activists, and Buzzfeed magic would love for you to come in and participate. Muggle Buzzfeed has always strived to be inclusive, and Buzzfeed Magic want to set the same precedent. (Also I’m a lesbian and I do what I want). Meet at my place, 10 o’clock Sunday morning. Wear comfortable CASUAL clothes. I mean it, not expensive robes.  _

_ Thanks in advance, _

_ Pansy _

 

Draco couldn’t really say no to Pansy after everything she’d done for him, so he agreed. That night, Draco looked up Buzzfeed on his brand new phone, that Blaise had coerced him into getting. Buzzfeed was kind of cool, definitely not the stuck up news that he was accustomed to. He would never admit it, but he was actually rather looking forward to to being a part of it. And it was a good excuse for him to leave the house, which he rarely did nowadays, much to the annoyance of his husband. 

 

When Sunday morning arrived, Draco put on muggle clothes, jeans and a grey t-shirt. He almost liked the way it looked, adding a navy blue button down over the top to cover his arms. Contrary to what many people believed, hanging around with fashionable people doesn’t make you fashionable yourself, and no amount of Blaise’s advice actually helped in any way. Being gay also had seemingly no effect, as Draco was getting less fashionable by the day. He was not, in fact, getting less queer. Draco kissed Harry, as he always did before going out, then he headed through the floo link to Pansy’s house. Harry called it his “travel insurance”, which was, in Draco’s humble opinion, disgustingly adorable. 

 

He was not expecting the full blown operation that he found in Pansy’s living room. The usually chaotic room looked almost like a military operation, people working in a perfectly orderly fashion. Three lights and two cameras were positioned facing what looked like a roll of purple wallpaper, presumably the background for the interview. The paper was also rolled out a good distance along the floor. “I’m a slytherin darling, if I’m doing something I’m doing it right,” said Pansy by way of explanation. 

 

Draco laughed, “You mean you’re doing it over the top.”

 

“Well I’m also a Parkinson. Anyway, let’s get you set up.” She said, pointing to the small black x on the floor. “If you could sit that fabulous ass down on that spot, that would be excellent.”

 

“Malfoys don’t sit on the floor.” said Draco, putting in his best pureblood snob accent. 

 

“Good job you’re a Potter-Malfoy then isn’t it. Now, it’s pretty simple. Here,” said Pansy, levitating a small glass jar full of paper towards Draco, “are the questions. They’ve been sent in by people all over the country. All you have to do, my dear friend, is answer them.”

 

“That tends to be how an interview works.”

 

One of Pansy’s many colleagues tapped her on the shoulder. He looked like a proper intern, suit on and clipboard in hand. “Miss Parkinson, they’re ready.”

 

“Thanks Sam. Bring them in.”

 

“Hold on,” said Draco, “you didn’t tell me I’m doing the interview with someone else.”

 

“Not really someone. Also I’m a huge fan of your work,” said Sam, leaving to collect the mysterious extras. 

 

Draco wasn’t sure what he was expecting. It definitely wasn’t 6 beautiful kittens. 

 

“Oh sorry did I not mention you’d get to hang out with these little guys.” said Pansy, the smile on her face  _ proving _ she knew damn well she had never mentioned it. 

 

“You most certainly did not!” Draco took one of the kittens from Sam, a small brown kitten with way to much enthusiasm for a Sunday morning. “Who do they belong to?”

 

“They’re shelter kittens.”

 

“They need homes!” Draco scooped up all the kittens at once. “How do you not have homes? You’re too cute for that!”

 

“Okay Draco, we’re filming now. Don’t worry if you make a mistake, we can edit it out later,” said Pansy, fiddling with the lighting. 

 

“Alright. Great. Hey everyone, I’m here with buzzfeed but more importantly I’m here with these guys,” said Draco, holding the kittens up to the camera, “they all need homes so Harry, babe, if you’re watching, we’re getting six cats. It’s not too many.”

 

Draco put some of the kittens down, a few of them bouncing off of him. One particularly shy black kitten stayed firmly on his arm. “It’s okay baby, you can stay there.” Using his other hand, he reached into the jar and picked out the first question. 

 

“ _ ‘How’s Harry doing?’ _ Well I tell you what, he’s going to be annoyed when he gets home and we have all of these babies in our house. He’s fine though. Quidditch is great. Go Magpies!” The biggest of all the kittens tried to jump up to the jar. Draco lifted them up and tickled the back of its neck. “It is time for the next question. You’re such a smart baby.” 

 

“ _ ‘Are you going to pride again this year?’ _ Of course. My charity No Closets will be at pride in Glasgow, Cardiff, Manchester and London this year. I personally will be in Edinburgh. Like last year we’re selling flags, badges, clothing, wand covers, the whole lot. All the money raised goes into providing safe places for queer youth, free counselling and awareness.” A white kitten climbed its way onto Draco’s knee, and proceeded to immediately fall asleep. “I feel you little guy,” said Draco, stroking down its back. “Where was I? Yeah, so we’re doing that. Come party with us!”

 

Draco reached up for another question. “I’m trying so hard to focus but I can’t.” Draco watched as the two ginger kittens fought over a ball. “They’re too much. Okay.  _ ‘Cats or dogs?’ _ Look at me right now. I’m incapacitated by my love for cats. I want them all. Cats. Easy.”

 

“ _ ‘I’m straight but my best friend is gay. What can I do to help other than be a good friend?’ _ Okay firstly, I’d say never underestimate the power of being a good friend. It means a lot to have someone in your corner.” Draco moves the kittens on his legs around, so he could properly play with the black one. “There are lots of charities you can give to if you have the money, but also I think just calling shit out, wait am I allowed to swear,” Pansy shook her head, “okay so just calling stuff out when you see it. Even if it’s not directed at someone you know. No acceptance of casual homophobia or transphobia.”

 

The blond kitten scraped at the paper on the floor. “No, we’re not doing that.” Draco picked them up and stroked the back of their head. “Harry’s bought expensive rugs, we can’t do that okay. No we can’t. Okay, question.  _ ‘Did you always support the Magpies’ _ Definitely not. I didn’t follow league quidditch at all until Harry started playing. Our first date was a game, he lost though. He was so embarrassed. Harry’s a softie really.” Draco moves the feathers on the ground, and the small brown kitten ran around trying to catch it. “Yeah, he’s stupid. I love him though, so it’s worth it.”

 

“ _ ‘What advice would you give to young LGBTQ people?’ _ Be yourself. I know you’re probably sick of adults telling you that, but genuinely. Be who you want, love what you love, whatever. Cause if you love who you are, it makes it so much easier to deal with those who don’t. And you can always call out partners at the Trevor project if you need help.  1-866-488-7386. I love you guys, stay strong.” Draco blew a kiss into the camera. 

 

“I think I’m going to call you Star,” said Draco to the blond kitten. “You’re my new favourite. Sorry Harry, you’ve been replaced. Alright,  _ ‘what’s your favourite thing about being a slytherin?’ _ Amazing question. I think honestly, the drive and ambition that comes with being a slytherin is so important. The whole slytherin ethos of never giving up has got me so far in life, personally and professionally. And also the common room. Beautiful. Just like you, angel,” said Draco, putting the white kitten in his shoulder. 

 

“Two more to go guys. Ooh that’s a good one.  _ ‘What was your favourite subject at school?’ _ So funny story, I was really good at potions. Like second in the whole school good. I hated it so much though. My favourite subject was always charms, even though that’s seen as a really easy bland subject. I just loved it so much. It’s not a very masculine subject though, so I pretended to like potions.”

 

“I can’t believe this is the last question, then I get to take you all home! That’ll be nice, won’t it Buttons,” said Draco to the larger of the two ginger kittens, “‘ _ What was it like growing up in a pureblood family knowing you were gay?’ _ I actually spoke about this a little in the book Harry and I wrote. The weirdest part was the pressure. To have an heir and continue the family name and all that. I had it relatively good though, having a gay aunt helps. So yeah.” Draco scooped up all the kittens as best he could, “now if you’ll excuse me, I have six babies that need to go home.”

 

“Okay guys, that’s us for today,” called Pansy from the side of the room. “Draco, before you go, come and see this.” Draco followed Pansy through to her bedroom. “Happy birthday!” In the middle of the room stood a silver cat tower, with a perfect little green bow on the tallest mini room. “It houses 6 cats, how convenient. Almost like I know you too well.”

 

“Thank you Pansy, you’re an angel, you know that?”

 

“Affection, gross. Now go talk to your husband.” She rolled her eyes, but she was smiling. 

 

Draco apparated back home, and found two bags of cat food and a post it note on the kitchen table. 

 

“Hey honey,

Happy Birthday! Hope you had fun, this has been the hardest secret to keep from you, hope you enjoyed the surprise. Pansy told me a while ago. Figured they’ll be hungry, don’t name them all without me. We’re a proper family now. 

You’re totally crazy, but I’m totally crazy about you so it balances out. 

Love you the most,

Harry x”


End file.
